03: The Sorrows of Apollo.
      The epitome of Masculine Triumph, but can't get a girl…or guy.

-- az0th [19 Jan, 07]

This blog is continuing from the previous one, 02: The Broken Promise of Adonis. If you haven't read it then I suggest you do it right now! [Click on 'Next Page' twice]. But for you lazy-bums out there who can't be bothered to use your own finger-muscles, I'll recap for you. 
                 I was outlining the reasons why men should never associate themselves with Adonis, as he is a mortal and powerless prisoner who, in the real 21st century world, would most likely be a legally, medically and psychologically troubled person. The following are the reasons why the expression: "I wanna be an Apollo for my [significant other]" should be heard more often from men.  
                 [Original pic from http://faculty.evansville.edu/rl29/art105/sp04/art105-2.html]

                Introduction to the players: From the Webster Comprehensive Dictionary 
     ·        A.don.is (ə.don'is) 2 Any youth of rare beauty.
     ·        A.pol.lo (ə.pol'ô) 2 Any handsome young man. 
         "And let the Match begin…"  

Apollo is immortal, unlike Adonis. So, his surpassing beauty will never wither. Apollo is the god of music, poetry, medicine, archery & light who resides in Mount Olympus, along with his father, Zeus.

Set 1.  Achievements/Abilities

• Bestial: Apollo, when young, slayed the serpent called Python, who guarded the oracle [1] of Delphi. Even though he was punished for it, this task is more commendable than being killed by a wild boar…dawnt you tink? Plus, serpents are phallic….*winks. Apollo – 1, Adonis – 0.
• Artistic [Musical&Poetic]: Apollo was associated with the lyre, an instrument similar to the harp. Adonis, on the other hand, had no deep symbolic connection to musical instruments.
     Apollo was also the leader of the Muses – nine water-nymphs, each one presiding over musical/poetic/scientific areas. Struggling artists would, in ancient times, pray to Apollo&TheMuses for inspiration. And here's one for the hetero man…to be the idol of nine beautiful nymphs…which straight guy wouldn't want that? Adonis only had two immortal women pining for him. Apollo wins this game again. Apollo – 2, Adonis – 0.
• Medicinal: Apollo was the father of Asclepius, the demigod of medicine&healing. Asclepius' staff, with a snake entwined around it, remains to be the symbol of Modern Medicine in the real 21^st century world. So, physicians should thank Apollo, and not Adonis, for that. [Btw, the Caduceus – the staff of Hermes, winged-messenger of the gods, with two snakes entwined around it – is NOT the symbol of Modern Medicine, as sometimes depicted…tch tch…silly ppl!] Apollo – 3, Adonis – 0.
• Shakespearean: Apollonian allusions flood King Lear. This was something that I picked up myself, rather than rote-learning from Sparknotes or Excel…pffft. Most of the quotes are related to sun/light/order/insight/medicine/masculinity; as opposed to Hecate, who symbolised moon/darkness/chaos/blindness/poison/femininity…which sounds a lil' sexist from a 21^st century POV. Remember that Apollo, like most Greek gods, was vengeful – and can bring plagues of disease: "Now by Apollo" (I, i, 153), "By the sacred radiance of the Sun,/The mysteries of Hecate and the night" (I, i, 103-4), "Kill thy physician, and thy fee bestow/ Upon the foul disease" (I, i, 156-7), "These late eclipses of the Sun and Moon portend us no good" (I, ii, 91), "Infect her beauty/ You fen-sucked fogs, drawn by the powerful sun." (II, iv, 158-160), "Restoration hang/ Thy medicine on my lips" (IV, vii, 26).    
     To be referred to by Shakespeare is a once-in-a-lifetime achievement. Face it, he's dead…he'll never write about you! Wait, but Adonis is also bragged about in that super-long poem Venus&Adonis…damn…Apollo could've hadda clean one. Fellow blog-readers, I'm afraid in this game it's: Apollo – 4, Adonis – 1.
• Sporting [Archery&Discus]: Like his twin sister Artemis (or as the Romans called her, Diana), Apollo was an accurate archer. I'm sure that if he was to hunt for a wild boar…*hint hint, he'd kill it immediately with his swift-winged arrows. As for the discus, hmmm…we'll talk 'bout his accuracy in this sport later. *Audience cheering…"And he's back in the game"…Apollo – 5, Adonis – 1.
• Supernatural: With the help of his oracles, Apollo could foresee future events. His most famous oracle was located in Delphi, which he attained when he slayed Python. Too bad Adonis couldn't see his own future…then he could've avoided his porcine death.
     Psychic men are rare to find in the real 21^st century world. It's not our fault that we're not as connected to our intuitive impulses as women are….sheesh. Oh well, more feminine men are coming into this century anyway. Apollo – 6, Adonis – 1.

*Audience cheering louder…"Apollo swipes the first set with ease…"

Set 2. Tragic Love

• Apollo was bisexual, which is always an exciting topic…considering that in the 21^st century 'Western' world homophobia is fading, and bisexuality is considered to be the 'default' orientation.
• The women: I'll concentrate on the story between Apollo and Daphne, whose pursuit is pictured above. Daphne was a mortal worshipper of Artemis, who had to continue to be a virgin to remain in the cult. So, she was forced to reject Apollo's sexual advances…every single time. Not that easy. 
     One day Apollo, being sick of Daphne's 'hard-to-get' act, chased her around and around...non-stop. Naturally, Daphne turned towards her father, a River-god, for advice. But, instead of exercising his power and placing a restraining order on the persistent god, he transformed his daughter into a lil, innocent flower: the Laurel. This flower became sacred to Apollo, henceforth. 
     Remember, there are variations to this story, e.g. Ovid's version is different.
• The boys: The first male-lover that pops into mind is Hyacinthus. Hyacinthus was a Spartan prince [Aside: Pedagogic pederasty, i.e. 'chaste' sexual relationships between adolescent-males and adult-men, was commonly practised in Sparta]. Zephyrus, the god of the west-wind, and Apollo both courted Hyacinthus. Ultimately, Apollo won his hand…so you can imagine just how P.O.'d Zephyrus became. 
     Well, one day, when Apollo was demonstrating his discus skills to his 'beloved', Zephyrus blew the discus off course towards Hyacinthus' head. You can guess what happened. He died, he died! And from Hyacinthus' blood sprung a flower – the Hyacinth [What is it with all these flowers?]. This also became sacred to Apollo.

Despite the melancholy results of Apollo's love-life, by appealing to both sexes Apollo deserves to win this whole set for sure. Can you imagine being an immortal and never finding 'The One'? *tear.

Game, set, match. Apollo supersedes Adonis in all the areas of life-time achievements and sexual attraction. I'm not a Mythological expert but if you want to know more (or if you don't believe my blog) then you should click to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty_in_ancient_Greece#_note-1.

Fine-print: I never usually write personal, dear-diary stuff but it's related to Apollo so I might as well squeeze it in here. 
                I did Ancient History in year 11 [no way am I telling you the name of my High-school] and we had a substitute teacher who came from Newcastle. She was a bright, bubbly, child-like character who admitted to saying dopey things. I sat in the front half of the classroom, three tables away from her centred-desk. 
                In the right-corner sat a tall, slender, athletic guy who only did 'okay' in class. His name was Luke. He was well-behaved, most of the time, when he wasn't with his goof-head friends...like most of 'em. I can still remember the time his clownish mate, Alex, came up to me and asked me if I wanted to smoke pot with him. *Yeah, that's really mature. 
                So it was during one of these History lessons that the teacher came across the topic of Apollo's oracle at Delphi. Luke asked: "Delphi...does that have something to do with Dolphin?" The teacher giggled: "Nooooo00OOOO..." ending her correction with a babyish inflexion. The rest of the class laughed to themselves. They chuckled over the ridiculous relationship between a powerful and exalted god, like Apollo; and a lil', harmless thing called a dolphin. Well...I didn't laugh. I knew the teacher was wrong. Apollo's sacred animal was the Dolphin. It was through the guise of this animal that he was able to transport Cretan priests to his oracle at Delphi.
                I didn't look at Luke's reaction to the class' mumbling laughter. I kept my eyes on my desk, on the Hellenistic hand-out before me, as usual…like a good ol' school-boy would. I doubt Luke was hurt or anything. He's a sportsman. He's tough. He's mean.

Should I have 'rescued' him, though? Should I have raised my timid hand, to whisper: "ummm…miss…the dolphin was apollo's sacred animal." But why would I do that? All I would do afterwards is shy away from the teacher's surprised expression, even if she was impressed. All I would do afterwards is shrivel in my chair and withdraw myself from the class' silent death-stares. All I would do afterwards is fan off the embarassing, A-grade sweat from my forehead with my hand-out; thinking 'Grrr….why did I have to make a fool of everyone?'
                And how would have Luke reacted to my re-correction? He wouldn't have thanked me for saving him. He wouldn't have secretly thought of me as his lil' quiet hero. No, he probably would've leaned back in his chair with opened hands, wearing an arrogant 'I-told-you-so' grin.

But…I guess I'll never know the answer. It's frustrating when things like this happen.

I think that lil' story is enough for a sign-off. I'm getting tired from just thinking about my High-school Quietism. I've already planned the next blog to be about James Dean…04: JD. It's nothin' as argumentative or biographical as this…not that this blog is argumentative or biographical. 
                I wonder if I should write an analytical blog on King Lear. But how should I sex that one up?

              Take care!

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[1] A site of worship where prophecies were conveyed from gods, to priests, to inquirers…J

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